Immediate Job Opportunity: Web 2.0 Is Desperately Seeking Competent Software Engineers

The Web 2.0 world is collapsing. Not only has the dour economic environment fooled everyone into thinking that Cash is King, the barbarians are at the gate.

First Twitter was “hacked” by a teenager using nothing more than a script-kiddie technique. And now we learn that Cork’d, which is owned by Web 2.0’s’s Joe Kennedy – Gary Vaynerchuk, has also fallen victim to an attack that was clearly intended to redirect drunk Cork’d users to a website filled with BBWs looking for no-strings-attached sex.

If something isn’t done by next week, Web 2.0 will be overrun by maliciously-inserted ads promising instant weight loss and easy sex. Sorry, I forgot. That’s just Facebook. Nevermind.

Clearly, Web 2.0 desperately needs a stimulus package of competent software engineers who can save Web 2.0 from itself. The rookies behind services like Twitter obviously misunderstood the concept of “open source technologies.” Apparently they didn’t get the memo that while PHP, MySQL, Ruby on Rails, etc. are “open source”, “open source” did not entail that the applications built with them should be wide open to every Harry, Dick and John.

If you are an experienced software engineer who understands the importance of escaping user data before inserting it into a database and recognize the wisdom of blocking 5,000 unsuccessful logins from the same IP address, Web 2.0 is hiring. Please email your resume to web20jobs@kevinrose.com.

Compensation is competitive. You’ll receive:

• A Midwest salary to support your San Francisco lifestyle.
• Worthless stock options.
• Free sausage lunches.
• A boss who is in his 30s but acts 18 years young.
• Nights of fun at San Francisco’s hottest dive bars.

On second thought, if you’re a competent software engineer, what the hell am I thinking? You have more incentive to join the parade of Web 2.0 hackers. You’ll probably make more money posting an affiliate link on Barack Obama’s Twitter account than most Web 2.0 companies have made in the past two years.

Looks like Web 2.0 will have to stimulate itself. Judging from the comments left for Vaynerchuk congratulating him on being hacked, one thing is certain: something in Web 2.0 is being stimulated. I think it might be somebody’s prick but I’d prefer not to look.