Mashable’s 200+ Tools for Surviving the Economic Crisis vs. Drama 2.0’s 1 Tool for Surviving the Economic Crisis

Sean P. Aune over at Mashable feels your pain. He writes:

With Wall Street’s recent decline and the economy in such an uncertain place, many people are fearful of losing their jobs and lifelong investments. There are countless simple online services and tools dedicated to helping you take control of these elements. We’ve put together a list of over 200 to help you do everything from manage your personal and professional finances to find a job in your given field, get discounts at local and online stores, and much more.

That’s right. With just a few “simple online services and tools,” you can take control! If only Tom Joad had an iPhone!

Let’s look at the categories for these services and tools:

• Budgeting – Business Accounting. Chances are that if you haven’t already been doing any accounting for your business, you’re not going to have one soon.
• Personal Accounting. Services like Mint.com sound great but when you no longer have any money of consequence to track, what’s the point?

• Personal Budgeting. QuickBooks Online is really quick when you’re broke.
• Shared Accounting. Haven’t you already shared enough? I mean, you shared all of the money in your 401k with hedge fund managers in the Bahamas (yes, they – and I – shorted GOOG months ago when it was well over $500). What more do you need to share?
• Jobs – Job Interviews. There are no jobs.
• Jobs in Sports: Recruitment. You are not the next LeBron James.
• Startup Jobs: General Job Site Listings. If you’re just looking for a job now, you missed the job boat. It left about 12 months ago.
• Startup Jobs: Startup Specific Sites. Seesmic is not hiring.
• Real Estate – Agent Tools. Looking for a real estate agent? I saw a bunch of them in the unemployment line the other day. You might want to check there.
• Appraisal Tools. Your home is not worth $650,000. You might get $200,000 for it if you’re lucky.
• For Sale By Owner Tools. There’s no need to get desperate. Stop paying your mortgage and sit tight. The government will bail you out.
• Transportation – Mass Transit: Bus & Train Services. You don’t need the Internet to figure out where the bus stop is. Just follow the fat chick who walks by your apartment every morning at 5:30 am. You know, the one who wears a McDonald’s uniform.
• Mass Transit: Information About Public Transportation. Here’s all the information you need to know: that funky smell on the bus the other day was urine after all.
• Carpooling – General. Carpooling is a nice idea but when you are the last person living in a subprime housing development 70 miles from the city, it’s a bit tough to find a carpooling buddy.
• Car & Fuel Maintenance – Auto Repair. You don’t have a car. Look outside. Yep, that noise you heard last night was the repo man (or one of my thugs).
• Gas Mileage. You don’t have a car so you don’t need to worry about gas mileage. See how easy your life has become?
• iPhone Apps. Poor people don’t have iPhones.
• Find Cheap Gas Prices. Venezuela. 12 cents a gallon. Throw in the fact that there are plenty of single gorgeous women in Caracas who will pump more than your gas, what do you need to look up online?
• Shopping – Coupons – Brick & Mortar Shopping. Who needs coupons when you’re preparing for a leading role as a kleptomaniac? Wink wink.
• Online Shopping. Forget Jeff Bezos. Jeff the Bus Driver will drop you off directly in front of Wal-Mart.
• Social Coupon Sites. 3 words: food stamp line. A social experience everyone should have at least once.
• Travel – Cheap Air Travel – Domestic. I’m pretty sure the answer to “You just lost all of your retirement and defaulted on your home loan! What are you going to do next?” is not “I’m going to Disneyland!”
• Cheap Travel Accommodations – Hotels. Let’s get real here. If you’re lucky, the only place you’re going to be checking into is the motel downtown that charges $24 a night. It’s not a bad deal. You get HBO.
• Vacation Rentals. Who needs vacation rentals when there are so many abandoned homes in the United States that you can enjoy free of charge? I visited LA last month and found a foreclosed mansion in Bel Air. Didn’t pay a cent.

Frankly, I think Sean P. Aune was so eager to make a list of 200 online services that he forgot about the one tool you need to survive the economic crisis that doesn’t require access to the Internet: cash. The more the better.

If you aren’t yet passionate about cash, check these guys out. They’re early adopters and as you can see, they apparently got the memo about cashflow well before Sequoia.