The Scoble Experiment Ends
Yes, that’s me in the picture above. After only a month, I learned the hard way just how toxic Twitter is. My six-pack abs are now covered by fat. My pecs have turned into man-breasts. I could go on, but I get sick everytime I think about it.
Recognizing that I would soon reach a point where even my intelligence, charm and money could not compensate for an appearance that looks the product of a CIA genetic experiment involving DNA from Shel Israel and Marc Canter, I called it quits and deleted my Twitter account.
I’m pleased to report that I’m back to my daily routine and should have my regular physique back within a month – just in time for summer.
So what did I learn about Twitter?
- It’s a waste of fucking time. Twitter added absolutely no value to my life. In fact, when spending time trying to “follow” everything on Twitter, it took value away 140 characters at a time.
- There’s no signal to noise ratio because there isn’t a signal. After trying to “follow” 2,000 other twats, I encourage all Robert Scoble haters to cut the guy some slack. Given the amount of noise he consumes on a daily basis it’s a medical miracle that he still has motor function.
- There are a lot more stupid twats than there are smart ones. I had the great pleasure of watching the financial meltdown occur while The Scoble Experiment was underway and this proved conclusively that at least 99% of the twats on Twitter have no fucking clue what they’re talking about. These people are a waste of the cotton and linen fiat currency is printed on. It’s said that opinions are like assholes because everybody has one. Well on Twitter, the assholes have opinions.
- There’s no real interaction. I tried to be a member of the “community” but that didn’t seem to go anywhere. Case in point: after Scoble indicated that he was in Washington DC and bored, I offered him the services of a lovely young woman from the Ukraine. I told him that I could have her at his hotel in 45 minutes. Not a tweet back. What’s up with that? He didn’t even ask the cost! For what it’s worth, I would have comped him a pity fuck.
- Twitter is spammy. Half the bloggers I “followed” do nothing more than tweet links to their new posts. So I joined in the fun. Yes, I did notice a slight increase in traffic to The Drama 2.0 Show after pumping my new posts, but at the end of the day, it’s really not worth it.
Bottom line: Twitter just isn’t for me. I found it to be a waste of time, money and brain cells. And I won’t exchange any of those for the title of “early adopter.”
If you have friends who have been infected with the Twitter toxin, I have set up a hotline to help you help them. Please call 281-330-8004 24/7 for more information. Remember, “Friends don’t let friends use Twitter.”
If it wasn’t for Twitter, I would have never heard of you.
Bryan: while I do appreciate your readership and I’m glad you found me, I really have no interest in using a service that I don’t enjoy using just for the purpose of “acquiring” readers.
I found your site by googling web 2.0 circle jerk. Twitter be damned.
k: SEO at its finest.
Twitter isn’t for everyone I have noticed that. In Holland where there is a tight group of Twitterazi it has worked wonders for me.
Our ‘community’ is a strong one. We use Twitter differently than the Americans do. It’s more of a sharing/chat platform. We discuss the news, network, give advice, go out for drinks almost weekly, companies are being created, sometimes it feels like a hippie commune, people are genuinly willing to help and listen (at least my followers). My phone didn’t work, I posted it on Twitter and six people offer me a phone. When I have a bad day or feel sick I get a lot of replies, well wishes and advice. That means a lot to me. Maybe it wasn’t the way they intended the use of Twitter, but I love it.
Workwise I get all my jobs as a filmmaker through Twitter, not just because I follow the right (and therefor useful) people on Twitter but also because the lines of communication have become shorter. It’s easy, fast and they know me.
I made a lot of really good friends this past yearnot just in Holland but all over the world. Likeminded people I wouldn’t have met if it wasn’t for Twitter. I finally met a group of people who are passionate about the internet, social networking, gadgets all the things my ‘IRL’ friends never got about me. It was like coming home. (and I don’t care if I sound like a sentimental girl, cause that’s what I am)
So for me it has worked and it’s still working.
But I agree, you have to have the time to work on your network and sometimes the discussions aren’t about anything, and are some people just egocentric attention seekers, but that is also the joy of Twitter, you can use it whichever way you like it. You just have to remember that the world is listening. But then again, why bother if somebody has problems with the way you tweet, they shouldn’t follow you.